Proof Positive that Nickelback are Lame

I have a huge distaste for a lot of modern American  rock music.  Nearly all of it seems to be conducted at this mid-tempo chug, a constant DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH hammering of chords without any rhythmical nuance that made a band like Led Zeppelin, or even Radiohead interesting (though one of their biggest songs, Creep, still employs the mid-tempo DAH-DAH-DAH).

This is nowhere better evidenced than by Canadian noisemakers Nickelback (as in “I paid next to nothing to listen to this band, and I still want my nickel back.”).  It’s terrible stuff.  And while I have no time for the effete quirky alternative music that poses as “indie” these days, a band like the Black Keys had it absolutely right:

“Rock & roll is dying because people became OK with Nickelback being the biggest band in the world,” he says, blowing cigarette smoke out the window of his rented East Village loft a few days ­before the band heads to L.A. “So they became OK with the idea that the biggest rock band in the world is always going to be shit – therefore you should never try to be the biggest rock band in the world. Fuck that! Rock & roll is the music I feel the most passionately about, and I don’t like to see it fucking ruined and spoon-fed down our throats in this watered-down, post-grunge crap, horrendous shit. When people start lumping us into that kind of shit, it’s like, ‘Fuck you,’ honestly.”

How did Nickelback respond to this?  By tweeting:

“Thanks to the drummer in the Black Keys calling us the Biggest Band in the World in Rolling Stone. Hehe.”

That ain’t rock and roll!  The only way that response could have been lamer is if it had a smiley face tacked on the end of it!  Come on, whatever happened to a good old fashioned artistic feud?!  I guess Nickelback are so bland they can’t even bring themselves to defend themselves.  Lame.

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